I was seven years old when I became afraid for the first time. On my way home from school, a friend said: “If your hair comes out of your scarf, God will punish you by hanging you from it.” That sentence stayed with me. It settled in my body.
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My Name Is Fear is a photographic project about fear as a condition: fear of being seen, fear of punishment, fear of people, and fear of structures that can change your life without warning.
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At twenty-six, after years of living with fear, I stopped praying. I stopped fearing God and Hell.
One day, my husband locked me inside the house to stop me from reading, studying, seeing my family, and being part of society. That same day, an earthquake hit the city. I was trapped on the tenth floor. What I was most worried about was finding the safest place to stand, but suddenly I felt an empty space beneath my feet. This is how I became afraid of people and social structures, like earthquakes.
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However, these fears have worn out over time, and whenever they come back to me, I take a step back and hide. Even not being afraid comes from fear. In people’s silence and in their eyes, I can see fear.
As if “fear” is the other name for me.
